Lift me up

This road is anything but simple
Twisted like a riddle
I've seen high and I've seen low

So loud, the voices of all my doubts
Telling me to give up
To pack up and leave town

But even so I had to believe
Impossible means nothing to me

So can you lift me up?
And turn the ashes into flames
'Cause I have overcome more than words will ever say

And I've been given hope
That there's a light on up the hall

And that a day will come when the fight is won
And I think that day has just begun

Somewhere, everybody starts there
Counting on a small prayer
Lost in a nightmare

But I'm here and suddenly it's so clear
The struggle through the long years
It taught me to outrun my fears

And everything that's worth having
Comes with trials worth withstanding

Down and out is overrated
and I need to be elevated

Looking up is not enough
No, I would rather rise above

Leaving Low Tide

Ive just gone through and read several of these posts. It seems my sanity comes in waves, crashing down and building back up. Fortunately these swells are mirrored by catastrophic events, which I suppose makes me not completely off my rocker.

Ever since this entire nightmare began several years ago, Ive always had this restless feeling like it wasnt over. There was more to come. Another storm on the horizon. My mind could not rest, not even at night. Anxiety and insomnia plagued me to my core. I am happy to say I no longer have this restless feeling. I attended my grandfathers funeral this week and for the first time I didnt have the cloud over my head screaming 'what next'? What is the next obstacle to overcome?

For the first time I feel like its over. Like the monsoon may be lifting, clouds disapating and sun beaming through. Ironically this is almost equally terrifying.

Im thawing my heart again and trying to redefine this fish out of water in her own skin. But, I know its time to leave these cold stagnant safe harbors Ive clung to for so long.